Josh and Rachelle Belokur are a young married couple with two children. Received into the Catholic Church Easter Vigil of 2007, their story is an example in perseverance, courage, and faith. While they shared their journey to Catholicism together, God called them to the Church in different ways.
Rachelle grew up in West Virginia, and Josh in upstate New York. Both were from good Christian families, faithful to the Church of the Nazarene, a Protestant denomination in the Wesleyan-Arminian tradition. As teenagers, they both were active in their denomination through local church youth groups. They were also fortunate to have people in their lives who took the time to help them develop spiritually and show them what it means to love Christ and to live their faith.
At 14, Josh attended a church camp, which he had done for many years. Here, for the first time, he strongly felt God’s calling to become a pastor. Shortly after leaving camp, he suppressed this feeling when he realized that he would have to give up his dreams for the future: Josh had always envisioned himself becoming a Marine. Over the next two years he quietly struggled between what he wanted and what he felt God wanted. At church camp two years later, Josh submitted to the Lord. Here, Josh asked God to help change his heart, and to reconcile his personal dreams with His wishes. Thus, Josh came to accept what he felt was God’s calling. During his junior and senior year of high school, he had several opportunities to teach and preach in the Church of Nazarene. These novice experiences catalyzed his spiritual interests. While it was hard to let go of his military dreams, he enjoyed thinking about theology and had a desire to learn more.
Church camp also had a strong influence in Rachelle’s life. It was here that she first made a commitment to Christ at the age of 11, choosing to follow Him in whatever He asked of her. She spent two to three weeks every summer at camp, growing in Christ and in fellowship with other Christians. During camp at age 16 or 17, she began to feel a void that she couldn’t quite explain. “I was spending time daily in prayer and reading the Bible, seeking God’s will for me, yet still there was something missing that I began to struggle with and continued to try to understand for the next several years until we came into the Catholic Church.”
When it came time for college, Josh chose Mount Vernon Nazarene University in Ohio. In preparation for his future role as a pastor, he pursued a bachelor’s degree in Religion with a minor in Biblical languages. Here, Josh first began to sense twinges of inconsistency in his theological studies. “Something wasn’t quite right,” he explains. For example, he explains that, like most protestant denominations, the Nazarene denomination is firmly rooted in the doctrine of Sola Scriptura or Scripture Alone. “I love scripture and am passionate about it. Yet, it is often seen as an end in itself. I felt as though I was being taught that Scripture was the Truth, rather than a gift from God which aided in our drawing closer to the Truth who is Jesus Christ.”
While attending Mount Vernon, Josh served in public relations/recruitment for the college, traveling and singing at various Nazarene churches with other students. The Mount Vernon singing groups met with local parish teenagers after services to tell them about the opportunities Mount Vernon offered them. At one point, he and his quartet sang at Rachelle’s parish in West Virginia. He developed a rapport with the pastor of the church, and also met Rachelle during this visit. At this time Josh was also struggling with the question, “What is worship?” He says, “I found it odd that churches would willingly forgo their regular principle Sunday worship service to allow a group to come in a sing for them: allowing no time for scripture to be read or to hear a sermon.”
The next year, Rachelle also chose to attend Mount Vernon. She and Josh remembered each other from their previous meeting. They became friends, a friendship which eventually led to engagement. Rachelle was drawn to mission work, and felt that becoming a nurse would open doors to this. However, at the time, Mount Vernon only offered the first two years of a nursing program. Thus, after her freshman year, Rachelle transferred to MidAmerica Nazarene University in Kansas City in order to complete her four-year nursing degree. Josh stayed behind at Mount Vernon for a period of time, and eventually followed Rachelle after their marriage to MidAmerica, where he finished his bachelor’s degree and began post graduate work at Nazarene Theological Seminary.
During the summer before they were married, Josh had the opportunity to serve as a youth pastor at Rachelle’s home parish. During this time, he worked with the senior pastor who introduced him to the Episcopal writings of the late Dr. Robert Webber. He also began to study Church history with a new-found appreciation that had never existed in him before. The effects of this study on Josh can be summed up in the quote from John Henry Cardinal Newman, “To go deep in History is to cease to be protestant.” That summer “sparked a fire in my heart,” Josh remembers. He recalls the beginning of a sense of spiritual longing, a gap between what his faith was and what it could be. He found the concept of the sacraments particularly appealing: where sacraments are steps which provide necessary graces on the path to eternal salvation. Josh says, “I was introduced to the concept of liturgy, words like Eucharist, and the importance of the Sacrament of Baptism. These ideas and concepts were completely foreign to my practical experience growing up and, quite frankly, to my education in the first three years of undergraduate study.”
Josh and Rachelle were married in July of 2001, and Josh completed his senior year at MidAmerica. He continued to find his coursework interesting and full of discovery, and he discussed with Rachelle what he was learning. During Josh’s senior year, he continued to read a lot, mostly Episcopal literature. Through his reading and reflections, he became more and more aware of the inconsistencies between the Protestant denominations. He and Rachelle began to question the reasons behind the various denominations within the Protestant faith. Rachelle explains, “Each denomination has its own doctrines and areas of focus. I remember one conversation in particular that we had on the way home from church one morning, about how we could know which one is teaching the truth and what authority could tell us that.”
After graduation in 2002, he went on to attend seminary at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He took a job as an associate pastor at a Nazarene Church in the area. The focus of his role was outreach and evangelism; thus, he was always talking to people in the community. He tried his best to truthfully answer their questions about Christ and His Church. One of the common questions people asked was, “How do I know your church teaches the truth?” He was able to answer them stating the Nazarene church’s position; but in his heart was struggling with the same issue. It was a very unsettling feeling.
Rachelle was alongside her husband during this period, they constantly talked about what he was learning, reading, and thinking. Josh’s inclusion of her made “a huge difference for me,” she says. It became a time of discovery and reflection for them both.
After her graduation, Rachelle accepted a nursing position in a Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City. They had their first child, a daughter. During this time, they teamed up with a friend, “Sean”, who they had known at Mount Vernon and had become close friends with since moving to Kansas City. Sean was a former Catholic turned Nazarene. Josh describes him as “One of the most faithful and passionate Christians I have ever known.” Rachelle recalls the uniqueness of their friend, describing Sean’s goal as essentially to fill in the gap between Catholicism and the Nazarene denomination. Unknowingly, this friend turned out to be instrumental in Josh and Rachelle’s future decision to convert to Catholicism.
Josh and Sean started talking, and their talks eventually led to the brainstorming and planning of a new church plant. Rachelle sums up the irony of church they were planning: “While not their intention, it was essentially a recreation of the Catholic Church.” It drew from truthfulness, tradition, and the richness of the liturgy. Despite their best intentions, the church plant was constantly met with frustrations and disapproval from many in the Nazarene denomination. They struggled to obtain enthusiasm from others: for those who might have been interested, they commented that it did not feel Nazarene.
Josh continued to grow spiritually in seminary school, learning and questioning more and more. He also developed himself outside of school. He continued to explore the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. In studying Catholic teaching, Josh found a greater sense of truth, which he shared with Rachelle.
They describe how their minds and hearts gradually opened to Catholicism. Josh explains, “It was no single event but a thousand different instances and people who came into our lives that led us to the conclusion.” A few of these are described below.
Upon Sean’s suggestion, Josh began to read the works of Scott Hahn. Rachelle remembers at the time that she “was not fully on board” with the idea of leaving the Church of the Nazarene, but was open to talking and discussing the questions and shortcomings they were both finding in Protestantism. Both Josh and Rachelle ended up reading the book “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. This book describes one protestant couple’s journey home into God’s worldwide family, the Catholic Church. This book had powerful effect on both Josh and Rachelle.
In particular, reading the book helped to transform Rachelle’s attitude toward artificial contraception. She had a dislike of birth control pills because of their physical side effects, but had no moral trepidations about taking them. Through reading this book she became more and more aware of the ethical reasons for avoiding artificial forms of birth control. Josh agreed and they both prayed a lot about it. Through prayer and reflection, they eventually made the decision to avoid artificial contraception. Later, they went on to adopt Natural Family Planning.
Another important factor began during Josh’s second year of seminary. He recalls driving down the street and seeing a billboard for EWTN. At the time, he was not a fan of most Christian radio, he found it lacking in substance and did not typically tune in. However, he was intrigued by the idea of Catholic radio and wanted to learn more. Soon he found himself listening all the time. He loved hearing the talks, sermons, and rosary. “This absolutely did wonders for me,” he says. “I listened to EWTN everywhere, except sometimes when Rachelle was in the car. She didn’t necessarily want to hear it all the time. She was not ready to think about conversion to the Catholic Church.” For Rachelle and Josh, Catholicism had been misconstrued and given a negative tone by protestants in general, whether intentionally or not. However, over time, Rachelle’s interest also grew and she also began listening to EWTN. Josh says, “Father Mitch Pacwa is a treasure! He makes complicated Catholic doctrine very easy to understand. Not only that but he speaks with conviction and great love.”
Josh found himself closer and closer to acceptance of Catholicism. Rachelle remembers praying for months, imploring God for direction on what to do. Rachelle explains, “Josh was interested in the doctrinal aspect, but, at this point, I was concerned about my family’s feelings and raising my children in a Church that I thought just may be teaching the truth, but had no truly faithful followers who lived the life that the Catholic Church teaches.”
Still, going through with their original plans of Josh becoming a pastor in the Church of Nazarene became less and less of an option. Rachelle says, “We knew we couldn’t preach what we didn’t believe ourselves.” Both she and Josh eventually made the decision to leave the Church of the Nazarene. Josh found himself really struggling, asking God, “What do you want me to do?” “It was as if the rug had been pulled out from under us,” Rachelle describes.
For their first time in their lives, they were without a strong church connection. Yet they persevered in asking God for His guidance. It was not an easy time from a practical or social standpoint: Josh was almost through with seminary and had only his thesis left to complete. Their original plan was for Rachelle to transition to part-time nursing and staying at home to raise the family. The latter would have been a possibility for them on a pastor’s income. In addition, for the first time in their lives, they were being viewed by peers, friends, and family members in a much different way than before. “We were always the ones with ‘a good head on our shoulders,’ that knew where we were heading and that we were following God faithfully. This seemed completely off course and out of character to the people who knew us best. We lost most if not all credibility with friends and family.”
With time, study, and prayer, Josh increasingly found himself strongly desiring conversion and the real Eucharist. “I was convinced of the truths of the Catholic Church a year before Rachelle- she knew that we could not stay in the Church of the Nazarene, but she also didn’t know if the Catholic Church held the fullness of truth.” It was the truth of the Catholic Church’s teachings that drew him in, particularly since Josh took a great deal of time to examine Catholicism in detail. Every part of this was a discovery. Josh explains, “The truths of the Catholic Church makes so much sense, and they are interconnected….you find one truth is connected to another…..The faith is so broad and deep, so rich and healthy.”
After deciding to leave the Church of the Nazarene and the church plant, Josh and Rachelle made the decision to enter the Episcopal Church. This seemed to be a more reasonable transition as opposed to Catholic Church. “I wasn’t ready to give up my desire to be a priest, and Rachelle wasn’t totally convinced of the Catholic Church.” They spent several months attending Episcopal Church in Kansas City. Then they decided to move to Rochester, NY to be closer to Josh’s parents, and because there was an Episcopal seminary there. In Rochester, they began attending another local Episcopalian Church. However, they found the Episcopal Church in a state of upheaval, like many churches nationwide, with changing attitudes on abortion and homosexuality. Rachelle said that this turmoil served to push them away.
A turning point for them came one day as they were arriving to Sunday morning church service. They had been struggling with the discrepancy between their beliefs and the more “liberal” beliefs of the Episcopal Church and wondering what to do. Rachelle remembers saying to Josh, “I think I would rather deal with the negative consequences from my family about becoming a Catholic, than be part of a church that doesn’t feel strongly about aborting babies and promoting homosexuality”. It was here that they began to seriously consider conversion and counting the costs of doing so.
Even while in the Episcopal Church, the Belokurs were seeking ways to get involved and get to know other Christians of the same “thinking.” EWTN radio was almost always the station on in the car, and one day in November 2006, Rachelle heard an advertisement for an advent bible study. She felt that this would be a way for her to meet people and grow in her faith. Rachelle called to find out more about the bible study and found that it was just 5 minutes from their house. Nine months pregnant with their second child, she decided to go. The bible study just so happened to be the Wednesday following the Sunday that she and Josh had started talking seriously of leaving the Episcopal Church. As an answer to prayer, she found herself warmly welcomed by the Bible study group, which was put on by the local St. Ireneaus apostolate. Rachelle was impressed with the devotion of the group and found the experience very affirming. “Everything began coming together after that,” she explains, “Here was a group of Catholics who were faithful and passionate about their relationship with Christ. This is what we were looking for. Before, I was afraid to raise my children in a church where people were not faithful. After this, I felt really encouraged.” Bolstered, she told Josh after the Bible study, “I think we’ll be okay in the Catholic Church. We need to be faithful to what we believe.”
“That week we continued to pray in preparation for attending Our Lady of Victory that Sunday. We were met by our now dear friends and our children’s god parents, David and Celeste Mercandetti, who guided us through our first Mass,” she says. They loved Our Lady of Victory, a small but faithful orthodox Catholic church in downtown Rochester. “We found our home. It felt right; from there on out we knew we were where we were supposed to be. There were no more questions- whereas before there was so much uncertainty.”
They studied with David Higbee, founder of the St. Ireneaus Apostolate, and went on to attend Catholic preparation classes at St. John Fisher. On Easter of 2007 they were received into the Catholic Church.
Naturally, it was very difficult to tell their loved ones and friends of their decision to convert – especially for Rachelle. Josh’s conflict was different: “Even through that first year as a Catholic, I struggled with not being able to become a priest….I hope it was not a result of pride, I just really wanted to minister to God’s people…this had always been my plan.” He was not even of age to become a deacon. He wanted to be a priest so much he even considered appealing to the bishop for a dispensation. Again, he reached out to God. “I prayed the rosary every day and eventually decided not to appeal. After I made the decision, I was at peace with it.”
Today he says, “My gifts as a teacher and preacher as well as my education won’t go unused. My faith is the greatest treasure I can give to my children. I want them to have what Christ has given me. I want to establish my love for the Catholic Church in them, even though they haven’t gone through the struggles that I have. I am the ‘priest’ of my family, I bring Jesus Christ to my own as a father and husband.”
They became active in the Rochester Catholic community and found great spiritual kinship. Rachelle comments, “Before we were in a mess with our faith. Now, we know our faith exactly, and wholly embrace it. But we are still trying to figure out what God wants us to do with our lives!” They eventually moved back to West Virginia to be closer to Rachelle’s parents, and have just moved into a new home. They have had some difficulty finding Catholic support in the area, but they stay in contact with all their friends and Catholic family back in Rochester. They have fond memories of Our Lady of Victory, and are looking to find a similar, solid place of worship.
In talking with them, one can sense their inner peace and trust in God for the road ahead. Their spiritual fulfillment is evident: “The more I understand, now the more clear things become,” Rachelle says. “The void that I had been feeling since high school was filled with the Eucharist. What an awesome gift to receive Him, body, blood, soul, and divinity.”
Josh and Rachelle neither begrudge nor regret their Protestant upbringing, which instilled in them a passion for scripture, evangelism, holiness, and a vibrant relationship with Christ. Looking back, Josh and Rachelle see clearly how God has used their passion for truth and the paths that they took to lead them “home” to His One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.
They are well armed with a strong faith, the most important gift of all. May God bless them as their lives continue to unfold.